Tough Questions for a Single Mom to Answer

There are several challenging aspects of being a single mom. In a way, more challenges are added when a single mom raises a boy, but in some ways raising a son as a single mother can be easier than raising a daughter. Certainly things like potty training require a bit of ingenuity, but sons tend to look more to their mothers while daughters tend to look more to their fathers, so some aspects may actually be easier.

Most moms have enough sense to know that a father does need a male influence in his life, even if it is not the father. To that end, she can often look to the father, an uncle, brother, or even friends for the make influence that a son needs to have in his life. In truth, a large variety of male influences in a boy’s life can be better than just one because he can see different behaviors and how they impact lives. This gives him a chance to see mistakes and triumphs without having to do them himself.

Financially speaking, being a single mom is a challenge no matter what the sex of the child is. Do not think you are going to get off easy because you do not have to worry about shoe collections, jewelry, and other things that girls could invest thousands of dollars in. Boys have their own expenses, life sports paraphernalia, video games, and all the other things that boys like to spend money on.

Some people have an irrational and unfounded fear that sons of single moms will end up as “sissy’s”. If you pamper him his whole life and forget to allow him to be a boy, then yes, he may be a bit effeminate when he grows up. He may also be a spoiled brat, so how about you avoid that route altogether?

The truth is that many times the sons of single moms tend to have a higher level of respect for women. He watched his mother try to navigate a tight budget with or without the help of the father or any kind of government assistance. Instead of growing up with the assumption that a woman must have a man to survive, he grows up knowing that she will struggle, but she can and will survive on her own. This may make him more proactive in his own relationships as he strives to be more than the meal ticket that a woman could provide on her own.

Since a single mom lives on limited finances, her son may also learn to repair things rather than replace them because he may grow up with his mother paying costly repair bills, doing repairs herself after working all day and taking care of the house, or having to replace things that could have been fixed but which she did not have the knowledge to fix.

A son of a single mother can learn to have decent manners because he is not subjected to some of the adult talk he may hear with a man. Therefore, he will never develop the habit of talking rudely in front of women and children, something that will serve him well in his adult life as he cultivates business prospects and networks with people who have respect for themselves.

There may also be simple habits that form which his future wife will appreciate. For instance, no one will have to tell him to put the seat down because he will do it out of habit. He may also open doors for women because his mother will teach him to do this on a daily basis. He may even be subjected to mood changes because of financial stress and therefore learn to help provide for the home as an adult so that his wife does not bear all the weight of the household.

A son of a single mother may also learn about the variety of assistance programs available because his mother may have to use them more than a father would, and this will continue to be a trend until the glass ceiling is shattered. To this end he may also learn about the ways that single moms are judged for using assistance, even though the majority of them do it while working, and some while working and going to school full time.

What happens when a mom raises a son without his father around? He grows up, only he grows up seeing elements of women that he may not have understood without this experience. He learns how to live on a shoestring budget and do it with a smile as you go to work every day. He learns about devotion and creativity tempered with affection and an appreciation for the simple things in life. In short, he grows up to be a man who has insight into the female psyche that most men will never know.


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