The world of dating is complicated enough, but when you throw single parenthood into the mix, it becomes even more complicated. You can’t really offer a blanket statement about whether or not men like dating single moms because there are so many elements involved and most often when men don’t want to date a single mom, it has nothing to do with the children themselves. Most men just don’t want to be there only to foot the bill to pay for someone else’s kids, even if they are willing to help in that realm. They also want the woman to be willing to make an effort to spare him some time and not use the children as an excuse as to why she doesn’t have time.
Depending on your age, it may be difficult to find someone who does not have children. To that end, you also have to consider different parenting elements. If you both aren’t on the same page when it comes to parenting, you are going to have more than one problem with your relationship. Either you have to be willing to compromise and see each others’ point of view or you just are not going to be able to parent together.
For the most part, men today tend to notice that it is almost impossible to find a woman who does not have children. This means that in some ways they are simply resigned to the fact that if they want to date, they may have to date a single mom. How they view you as a single mom depends largely on how you present yourself. While some men do like to be the knight in shining armor, they don’t want to be dating you just so you have someone to save you.
Confidence is always attractive, so be confident about your life. If you are struggling and you know you are doing your best, be confident about the progress you do make. Don’t act desperate because this is the very thing that turns most men away.
Know that motherhood is not your only face. Before you had children, you had hobbies and interests outside of the Cartoon Network. Try to share those interests. A man does not mind hearing about your latest issues with your child or the absent father, but these should not be the sole focus of every conversation. In fact, some days it would probably be appreciated if you did not seem completely stressed out and focused on being a single mom. Keep in mind that when you put single motherhood in a negative light, you increase the chances that your date will soon start to see it in a negative light as well.
Your children should always be your first priority and you should make this clear from the start. This means that their safety and health come first. On the other hand, you do need to make it clear that you have the resources to make time for a man in your life. Although some men may want to foot the bill for a sitter so you can go on a date for a night, this is not his responsibility.
Do not try to force a man into a father role. Let him be a friend to you first and get to know you before he get immersed in the whole family picture. Once you are involved in a romantic relationship with the man, let him get to know you as a woman before introducing him to your child. This accomplishes two things. First of all, it allows you two to develop an adult relationship without the pressure of placing someone in an additional role they may not be ready for. It also prevents your child from being placed in an awkward position that may not even be necessary.
Avoid creating animosity. There is no need for you to bash the absent father. Parenthood is between you and the absent father and at this point, that’s the only reason you have to deal with each other. No one likes to listen to someone constantly talk about their ex anyhow, and when the situation is such that the ex is going to be an ongoing thing in your life, they especially don’t want to be sucked into some kind of drama that is really none of their business. If anything, the two of them should be able to be cordial to each other for the sake of you and your child or children. If you do nothing but talk bad about him, you are setting the scene for drama that no one needs, least of all your child and a man who is interested in cultivating a serious relationship with you.
To that end, the most that can really be said about how men feel about dating a single mom is that some of their feelings are going to be based on your presentation.
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